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Post by goldenslumbers on Aug 11, 2012 19:05:52 GMT -5
+ 1,000,000
JeriJet, I agree with everything you said here. Thanks.
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Post by Marilyn on Aug 11, 2012 22:57:26 GMT -5
GS, it's not BS. If I feel myself slipping backwards, I do just what you suggested, and think of others that are in much worse situations than I am, and they're surviving it, many with flying colors. It renews my mind and my spirit and makes it easier to move forward.
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Post by goldenslumbers on Aug 11, 2012 23:39:39 GMT -5
Hi, Marilyn,
While the approach might work for you and me, it may be BS for Marylou. You do what works.
Incidentally, you might want to check out those Gettysburg clips yourself. Need to think of people who had it REALLY tough? Watch those. (And that's not to slight anything anyone here may be going through).
Another clip is one called "Gettysburg Reunion". It's from the Ken Burns series. The last minute is stunning - and the sitting, solitary guy at 4:02 blows me away. The wisdom and knowing in his expression and eyes burns a hole right through me. Pause the video at 4:04 and see if you don't agree.
I'd love to ask the guy some questions, but of course I could never come close to understanding the first-handedness of his experience.
Also of note onlookers...watching how they regard these Civil War verterans is fascinating as well.
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Post by Marilyn on Aug 12, 2012 15:03:15 GMT -5
What are you talking about.. clips?
I've seen the worst of the worst in my profession, plus what we see in third world countries. That's enough...
Agree completely with what Jeri Jet said. My endoc told me that when an MD can't figure out how to fix you, he will usually just give you an antidepressant just to get you out of his office. I believe that when I see how many of my friends are on that type of drug.
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Post by JeriJet on Aug 12, 2012 15:43:39 GMT -5
Another thing I want to mention is that some docs, in an effort to hang onto their patients, will tell you whatever they think you want to hear..... They also mainly write scripts for drug studies they are participating in..... I call that malpractice !!
My best friend from high school has been a psychologist for over 40 years now and one thing she told me that docs won't -- is about that the whole thing concerning chemical imbalances in the brain causing depression, anxiety, etc...... it seems that it isn't only drugs that can change imbalances, life styles can, too...... that's why I mentioned earlier eating/sleeping right, exercising, and so forth -- these can also alter those imbalances !!!
Just wish she had told me this sooner !!! Or, wish I had told her what I was experiencing..... I tend not to burden friends with my problems; it's not fair to them.....
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Post by Marilyn on Aug 12, 2012 21:51:03 GMT -5
Wow Jeri, I knew that drugs altered brain chemistry, but didn't realize our life style/habits could do the same. That's good to know.
Marylou, I'm going to PM you with something else you can check that would be part or all of the reason for the extreme fatigue, depression, anxiety, etc.. You're on a tough road. I've experienced those things myself, but not to the degree that you have. But I do understand it and know how hard it is to deal with. Sometimes it's almost as hard to deal with family members who think it's all in your head.
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Post by Marilyn on Aug 12, 2012 23:39:08 GMT -5
I suffered from panic attacks for years. My daughter had them too and told me about a book she read that really helped. I got that book and it was a MIRACLE!! It's 'From Panic to Power'. Get it from your library, or better yet, buy it at Amazon.com and keep it on hand to refer back. It's a wonderful read and explains exactly what causes the panic attacks.
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Post by daniela on Aug 13, 2012 0:33:52 GMT -5
Panic attacks are awful, and people who don't have them just don't understand how debilitating they can be. I saw a therapist to get rid of mine, and I have improved so so much, but I still have to consciously talk myself out of them sometimes.
I used to read readings at church for a lot of my cousins weddings, and I was just fine doing them. One day, I was in the middle of a reading for my cousins wedding, and I had a panic attack. I barely made it through the reading. After that, my other cousin asked me and I told her I couldn't do it. She begged me, so I said yes. I worried about this stupid reading for 2 months. When the day came, I was shaking. When the mass started, I was sweating, and thought, " I can't do this!". The priest said, " now Daniela will come up and read the first reading". I walked up to the alter, I hugged the podium (literally), and I read the reading so fast that when I was done, the priest and all the parishioners started laughing.I sat back down with my brother, and he asked me if I was an auctioneer. I told him to shut up, because I cannot even explain the relief I had. I don't think I will ever get over the anxiety of being in front of a crowd, but my other anxieties, I have a handle on.
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Post by Marilyn on Aug 13, 2012 1:23:03 GMT -5
Don't take this wrong Daniella, but I'm sitting here alone in bed with just the dogs here and had to LOL when you described how you hugged the podium and read so fast! Social anxiety....I can relate! I used to experience a little of that whenever I had to testify in court. Then I realized I was kinda tense about sitting in that box....and I was breathing real shallow, which encourages a panic attack. I'd be fine after I was on the stand for a few minutes, but when I first went up there I could even feel my blood pressure going up!
Anyone with panic attack disorder really needs to get the book 'From Panic to Power'. It's a real healing book, written by someone who had panic disorder so bad that she also had agoraphobia. She cured herself and along with some MD's, opened up a center for anxiety and panic disorder. Get the book, you'll be glad you did.
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Post by JeriJet on Aug 13, 2012 7:06:28 GMT -5
I had panic attacks for years..... now just occasionally, after working at it forever.....
About 8-9 years ago, I was at my sister's home in PA -- on her mountaintop! Gorgeous day, had my dog with me and was walking around her property. All of a sudden, it took hold. All of those symptoms, which I knew well.....
I got myself inside, tried to tell sister about it, went into a guest room to lie down for a while. When I got up, I went to find her alone in order to apologize to her about the episode (she had a houseful of guests), still quite jittery.....
Her only reply, "Well, don't cry about it...."
Now, that's a person who will never even try to understand......
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Post by Marilyn on Aug 13, 2012 12:41:13 GMT -5
There ya go Jeri, if they haven't experienced it, they don't have a clue...
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glenn
Reporter
Posts: 250
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Post by glenn on Aug 29, 2012 6:58:33 GMT -5
My brother's wife has been a high-strung woman who has suffered from a traumatic childhood and disfuntional family for many years. She has endured the death of two brothers in the past 15 years and her mother passed away just last year. They live in a big city in a crowded neighborhood, a crowded house full of pets, and they have a special-needs daughter. One of their kitchen cupboards is LOADED with meds. I used to live in the same city they live in now, but after living there for 18 years I got the heck out of there and moved back to the smaller city where both me and my brother grew up in.
Both my mom and I have have gently tried to persuade them to move back to where we both live, but they maintain that there is "more available" for their special-needs daughter even though she is almost 26 years old, and she really likes where my mom and I live. I don't want to butt in, but I love those people and I'm concerned about their well-being. What can I do?
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Post by JeriJet on Aug 29, 2012 7:15:15 GMT -5
Glenn, sorry for your woes.
Unfortunately, there is little any one person can "do" -- except, and this is important -- offer as much compassion and support as you can. In the long run, that's all you can really do.
And, take care of your mom and yourself. Your brother and family need you to be there, even if they are not able to take your advice to heart yet.
Best wishes, JeriJet
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Post by wmfan/waltonsportwriter on Aug 29, 2012 8:17:42 GMT -5
I have phobias where I check things sometime like is the door locked. Once I actually went to the airport and forgot to turn the stove off. Fortunately nothing burned down. So sometimes you do forget. But I try to think about things and be calm about it like did I do this or that and then go on from there. Also sometimes after a close call I have little panic attacks but then I remind myself it happened, nothing happened fortunately and go on from there. I dont take any medication. It's not bad but sometimes its about thinking what I do and relaxing its ok. Thanks for the therapy vent and for sharing your stories. Another thing I like about it on here talking with people. Best wishes waltonsportwriter
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Post by Marilyn on Aug 30, 2012 20:41:44 GMT -5
I do catch myself double checking the stove, etc, just before I leave the house to run errands.
glenn, there's nothing you can really do, unless you can convince them that other smaller cities also offer the same assistance the daughter needs. For sure a small town life, peaceful and tranquil, would help the lady of the house unwind abit.
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