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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2011 11:05:53 GMT -5
Calico, I agree with a lot of what you said. Maybe not so much in the way you said it, but with the content. I was spanked by my parents to help keep me on the straight and narrow too.I refused to spank my child. I felt that he and I are smarter than that. Here is the deal. As an adult we are obligated to see the errors of our parents ways and learn. We as humans were given a brain as well as hands. Are people so dumb that they cannot learn without being hit? I hope not. Try hitting a performing dolphin and see how far that gets you.
I am not even going to touch the violence in the bible.
As far as the spare the rod, spoil the child quote, the bible does not say how much rod to apply and when. Maybe this is an example of why the US founding fathers thought that it would be wise to have a separation of church and state. That way, if sparing the rod got out of hand, a person could be held liable for abuse, and not use that as an excuse for abusing a child.
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Post by Marilyn on Jul 1, 2011 17:25:36 GMT -5
Abuse is a whole different thread. Calico, huge difference between parental discipline and abuse...HUGE.. and you need to get a thicker skin if you're going to participate in public forums. Everyone has an opinion, whether we agree with them or not.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2011 6:39:04 GMT -5
I'll agree with that Marilyn. Everyone is different, that includes adults as well as children. Some adults grow to adulthood without ever being spanked or abused, BUT for some reason turn out to be monsters. Others suffer abuse yet turn out to be loving, caring parents. Different people, different personalities, different attitude. Perhaps it is best we leave this topic and concentrate on what we are all here for The Waltons and their lives.
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Post by Rhonda on Jul 2, 2011 14:18:47 GMT -5
I've been resisting posting on this thread again, but I have to point out that in childhood psychology literature, it's shown to be pretty common for children who've been physically abused to grow up feeling that they somehow deserved it, since that's what they were taught by the parent who hits them. [By the way, I guess "spanked" is the more innocuous sounding term that folks like to use so it doesn't sound like what it is: "abuse".] I guess that's why people will give that little speech about how they were grateful their parents hit them, and that it made them better people, It's truly sad to hear someone say they deserved to be hit as a child, and even sadder to hear them talk about hitting their own kids. People who hit their kids like to say that someone who doesn't have kids will automatically resort to hitting their kids if/when they have them. It's extremely offensive. And last but not least - trotting out the bible to defend violence is just absurb on the face of it. p.s. I somehow managed to avoid getting hit by a car, despite that fact that my parents didn't hit me. Calico, Calico, Calico.......There is a huge difference between spanking and abusing/hitting. I also take offense to your remark ~ "trotting out the bible" Some people actually read and live by or as close to the bible as we can. Maybe you should take a look at it. Someone earlier stated in their post to never let a child see your anger or not be angry when spanking. That is HUGE!! I was spanked once and had my hands swatted a couple of times by my Grandma. I never felt abused by her, I didn't feel as though she was hitting me. HOWEVER.....my Mother hit me in anger and I did and do feel abused by her. Trust me there is a HUGE difference.
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Post by bothepug on Jul 4, 2011 8:42:40 GMT -5
I find it sad that people have to go to some extreme and throw common sense out the window. spanking is not abuse, not that it couldn't turn into that, but by the same thought, eating is not gluttonly, but can turn into it, and so on. I would hate to base my understanding on the things of life on what psychology has to say about something as there is little agreement between psychologists on just about anything.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2011 20:18:22 GMT -5
I modified my original post.
Calico has the right to express her opinion as much as you. (who is Calico anyway) In spirit of the 4th and freedom of speech. My flame suit is zipped up, I have a metal colander on my head, elbow length barbecue mitts on both arms, barbeque spatula in my left hand, extra long hot dog tongs in my right, for those of you who may disagree with my opinion. Flame away!!!!!!
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Post by bmcgill on Jul 4, 2011 20:51:27 GMT -5
Just had my wife's three youngest nieces over the weekend. I had to babysit them Friday by my self. They are girls, ages 5, almost 7 and almost 10. I have been beat on, sprayed with squirt guns and event had my wife's underwear wrapped around my head. What can I say. They are as cute as can be and I love them dearly. I told them that they better remember me when I am old and in a nursing home, for letting them act like this.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2011 6:47:31 GMT -5
bmcgill (david) I simply cannot resist, did you look cute with that underwear? ?? Seems to me you have the right attitude to youngsters.
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Post by bmcgill on Jul 5, 2011 10:26:25 GMT -5
kelvin. I guess I did. It got a lot of good laughs from the little ones. I always tell them that I wouldn't let just any little girls act like this. Oh well. They had fun.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2014 15:50:15 GMT -5
I was going to start a thread with this topic in mind, so I searched to see if one had already been done and I found this old thread. I enjoyed reading everyone's differing opinions and SO many good points from both sides of the coin. Before I go into my opinion, let me just repeat what I have voiced before: How much I miss Scarlet's input here. If anyone is in touch with her, let her know she's missed.
I was trying to think of an episode that dealt with spankings and I couldn't think of one. I do remember a LOT of references to them on Little House though. The phrase "skin you alive" always spooked me. Jonathan Garvey took Andy to the barn for "a whippin".
I am a firm believer in discipline. I'm not a "spanker", but I have given a single swat on the butt on rare occassions. I have 3 kids. I was spanked as a child. It was in anger and the spankings were severe. It made me feel unloved. With my kiddos, I am much better with my words than with my hand. My kids do all the things that normal kids do in trying to push the limits and such, and I don't let them get away with it. I'd rather lecture them for 15 minutes than spank them for 30 seconds. I think my stance on "to spank or not to spank" was due to my own experiences. Too easy of a slide into something I felt was wrong as a child and now as a mom.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2014 17:04:18 GMT -5
I was going to start a thread with this topic in mind, so I searched to see if one had already been done and I found this old thread. I enjoyed reading everyone's differing opinions and SO many good points from both sides of the coin. Before I go into my opinion, let me just repeat what I have voiced before: How much I miss Scarlet's input here. If anyone is in touch with her, let her know she's missed. I was trying to think of an episode that dealt with spankings and I couldn't think of one. I do remember a LOT of references to them on Little House though. The phrase "skin you alive" always spooked me. Jonathan Garvey took Andy to the barn for "a whippin". I am a firm believer in discipline. I'm not a "spanker", but I have given a single swat on the butt on rare occassions. I have 3 kids. I was spanked as a child. It was in anger and the spankings were severe. It made me feel unloved. With my kiddos, I am much better with my words than with my hand. My kids do all the things that normal kids do in trying to push the limits and such, and I don't let them get away with it. I'd rather lecture them for 15 minutes than spank them for 30 seconds. I think my stance on "to spank or not to spank" was due to my own experiences. Too easy of a slide into something I felt was wrong as a child and now as a mom. When I was a child, I was whipped with a belt if I did something wrong. Hit out of anger. Nothing good ever came out of that. I resented being hit that hard. There was no way I'd ever do that to my kids, or even spank them that hard with the palm of my hand. I decided that when I'd become a parent, I'd follow these 2 rules 1) Spank the child lightly just to discipline them: yes. This is how I interpret the Bible Verse "Spare the rod and spoil the child " 2) Spank them hard to hurt : no way On the odd occasion I had to spank them, I'd wait to spank them until I wasn't angry anymore and collected my thoughts. That's just me. There are thousands of other ways to discipline your child that also works.
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Post by coriscapnskip on Feb 10, 2014 18:11:01 GMT -5
In the book of The Homecoming, Olivia asked Becky (Mary Ellen) if she was looking for a spanking for calling the others pissants. In the movie, she said something much milder such as "What's your problem?" (As to the child's age, the character was 13 at the time.)
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Post by Heather on Feb 10, 2014 18:15:04 GMT -5
I think the Waltons were a spanking family. That's just how it was usually done back in the day.
As a child, I may have gotten a couple of spankings. Not beatings. Not abuse. Really, the idea that I had disappointed my daddy hurt way worse than the actual spanking. And because of that desire not to disappoint, I was a pretty darn good kid, and I grew into a strong, law-abiding citizen.
Most kids just run wild today. I'm not sure what the answer is.
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Post by Alexis From Texas on Feb 11, 2014 0:03:24 GMT -5
I kind of resent the whole "you don't have kids, you don't get a say in it" arguement. While no, I am not a parent, it doesn't mean I'm not someone's aunt, or someone's friend, and don't have a say. Every good citizen should keep a look out and care about their neighborhood and the children in it.
However, I was spanked as a child, and it happened rarely. And my parents never did it in anger, but did warn me there were consequences to my actions. I don't resent them for their decisions on how to discipline me, and do not consider it abuse. I won't wake up tomorrow and think differently, either.
I do feel for the people who did have to grow up in abusive homes(both verbally and physically).
If your parent did the best they could by you, made sure you were well loved, well fed, clothed and taken care of.... If you went through life knowing that they taught you right from wrong with your best interests at heart, then you're blessed. Whether they did so by grounding you, taking toys away, or spanking, that's the method they chose. Sorry, I read all of the thread first and had to get this off of my chest.
John and Olivia did spank their children, but that was not as much a focus on the show as how much they loved them. To be honest, sometimes when I watch the show I think Olivia is a lot harder on the kids than John! Writing all those bible verses? NO THANKS!
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Post by JeriJet on Feb 11, 2014 19:58:47 GMT -5
Alexis -- both Olivia and Grandma were both rather harsh, and not just with the children... polar opposites from John and Zeb!
As far as spanking goes, my parents did it extremely infrequently -- and only used a hairbrush.... they felt using their hands was too "personal" and left too emotional a mark, too abusive... but a hairbrush just stings a bit! ... But, oh, man, I remember getting my mouth washed out with soap -- now, that's punishment !!
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