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Post by wmfan/waltonsportwriter on Apr 27, 2014 9:39:00 GMT -5
My friend is dying right now. Her name is Daniela as well. I go up to the hospital to see her, and it is awful watching her suffer. She wants me with her a lot. I think she's really scared to die alone. It's part of the reason why I just don't have as much time, or as much to say on the forum lately. She doesn't believe that she is going to die. She will leave 3 kids behind, and one of them, her daughter, is autistic. She has a husband, who no one, including me, can stand. Her time is coming. I know I wouldn't miss her funeral for the world. I just want to show support to her family, as well as saying good bye to her. Some people hate funerals. I actually hate them too, but I will go for my friend. Everyone has their reasons for going, or not going to funerals I guess. . I am so sorry to hear about your friend Daniela, Daniela. I will pray it turns out ok but if you need to talk my friend, please send me a personal message on one of our sites and take care Dani. Ill be thinking of you and your friend. Paul. God bless you
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Post by wmfan/waltonsportwriter on Apr 27, 2014 9:54:03 GMT -5
As for funerals I agree with Eric Scott, you don't need to be there to mourn or show that you cared. Time and circumstances prevented me from being at all four of my grandparents funerals but I obviously loved them dearly. So I give Richard Thomas or anyone a break if they are not able to attend the funerals. Remember their life, and I know Richard Thomas and the Walton cast & great fans remember Ralph Waite.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2014 10:02:25 GMT -5
If "Let the dead take care of the dead" why have the funeral at all? I don't want one for myself. What was the little house episode where the woman was having a funeral while she was alive because having a funeral when you are dead did not make sense?
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Post by dave on Apr 27, 2014 10:25:06 GMT -5
sorry to hear of you all loosing loved ones. Eric thank you for clearing things up.I don't do facebook, so your reply was very good to see.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2014 11:04:14 GMT -5
If "Let the dead take care of the dead" why have the funeral at all? I don't want one for myself. I don't want one for myself either. But I can't prevent others of having one for me, if they chose to, or if they feel it helps them mourn in any way. Or if they want closure...but please don't feel you Have to have one, coz its the right thing or socially correct thing to do. Go watch a movie instead...
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Post by JeriJet on Apr 27, 2014 14:07:28 GMT -5
I believe we all pretty much dread going to a funeral..... but, for me, once I'm there I find it quite poignant and uplifting, and I'm happy that I forced myself.... that final salute just seems right.
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Post by sdw on Apr 28, 2014 10:42:16 GMT -5
I have been to a lot of funerals,and most of them were not sad funerals.The funerals are for the living and not the dead.There are some funerals that are a celebration of life,and some funerals are a memorial,I like a celebration of life,instead of a memorial.
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bucky
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Post by bucky on Apr 29, 2014 18:24:45 GMT -5
Daniela - I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's illness. It's frightening watching someone suffer, especially when most of us don't come with the skills necessary to alleviate their pain and suffering - and it does sound like she is suffering. She is terrified and trying to hold on to someone, hoping to stop the inevitable. If you haven't already, get someone from palliative care or pastoral care to visit with her and you. They can help. Also, don't be too worried about the infection - it is probably an MRSA - I was told it lies dormant in many people anyway. The smell is probably the coagulated blood from her wound - it has a terrible smell when it builds up which it does because the practice is to leave wounds to heal and that means leaving the dressings longer than they used to. You can ask to speak to the wound specialist about the odor and ask if they are changing the dressing often enough. I'm so sorry you're going through this but hang in as long as you can - many people drop away in these situations. You sound like you are in for the long haul. Good luck.
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Post by patriciaanne on Apr 29, 2014 23:25:55 GMT -5
If "Let the dead take care of the dead" why have the funeral at all? I don't want one for myself. I don't want one for myself either. But I can't prevent others of having one for me, if they chose to, or if they feel it helps them mourn in any way. Or if they want closure...but please don't feel you Have to have one, coz its the right thing or socially correct thing to do. Go watch a movie instead... Well...being from an Irish background...we HAVE funerals!!! When the time comes, whoever is left to dispose of me may do so as they see fit. I would, however, like a Roman Catholic funeral mass.
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Post by daniela on Apr 29, 2014 23:56:31 GMT -5
Daniela - I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's illness. It's frightening watching someone suffer, especially when most of us don't come with the skills necessary to alleviate their pain and suffering - and it does sound like she is suffering. She is terrified and trying to hold on to someone, hoping to stop the inevitable. If you haven't already, get someone from palliative care or pastoral care to visit with her and you. They can help. Also, don't be too worried about the infection - it is probably an MRSA - I was told it lies dormant in many people anyway. The smell is probably the coagulated blood from her wound - it has a terrible smell when it builds up which it does because the practice is to leave wounds to heal and that means leaving the dressings longer than they used to. You can ask to speak to the wound specialist about the odor and ask if they are changing the dressing often enough. I'm so sorry you're going through this but hang in as long as you can - many people drop away in these situations. You sound like you are in for the long haul. Good luck. Thank you bucky! I spoke with my friend today, and she is getting moved to a hospice. She told me that news, and then told me that she needs to ask me something. She asked if I would be a pall bearer for her. I told her of course I would, but all night at work, that's all I could think about. I will be going to visit her on Friday. She's near the end. She did tell me today that she think the doctors are wrong, because she feels great. I really believe that she just can't believe it. I think that's why she doesn't sleep, and refuses to take sleeping meds. I think she's scared that if she falls asleep, she won't wake up. She sleeps for no longer than ten minutes at a time. She will be talking to you, and then fall asleep. I don't know...it's sad, and I feel for her family, especially her three children. I will continue to be there for her as much as I can.
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Post by patriciaanne on Apr 30, 2014 7:52:04 GMT -5
Daniela - I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's illness. It's frightening watching someone suffer, especially when most of us don't come with the skills necessary to alleviate their pain and suffering - and it does sound like she is suffering. She is terrified and trying to hold on to someone, hoping to stop the inevitable. If you haven't already, get someone from palliative care or pastoral care to visit with her and you. They can help. Also, don't be too worried about the infection - it is probably an MRSA - I was told it lies dormant in many people anyway. The smell is probably the coagulated blood from her wound - it has a terrible smell when it builds up which it does because the practice is to leave wounds to heal and that means leaving the dressings longer than they used to. You can ask to speak to the wound specialist about the odor and ask if they are changing the dressing often enough. I'm so sorry you're going through this but hang in as long as you can - many people drop away in these situations. You sound like you are in for the long haul. Good luck. Thank you bucky! I spoke with my friend today, and she is getting moved to a hospice. She told me that news, and then told me that she needs to ask me something. She asked if I would be a pall bearer for her. I told her of course I would, but all night at work, that's all I could think about. I will be going to visit her on Friday. She's near the end. She did tell me today that she think the doctors are wrong, because she feels great. I really believe that she just can't believe it. I think that's why she doesn't sleep, and refuses to take sleeping meds. I think she's scared that if she falls asleep, she won't wake up. She sleeps for no longer than ten minutes at a time. She will be talking to you, and then fall asleep. I don't know...it's sad, and I feel for her family, especially her three children. I will continue to be there for her as much as I can. Daniela, keeping you and your friend in my prayers. What a blessing she feels well. It's not uncommon for someone with a long and debilitating illness to have a "last rally" right before they go. She may, indeed, be very close. Hugs to you.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 30, 2014 8:03:06 GMT -5
Daniela, It's tragic, what's happening to your friend. I feel for her, her family and you. Is her family with her on a regular basis or are you her only support? She sounds so scared. The fact that she is asking for you to be a pall bearer is a sign that she's accepting this.
My grandfather lingered on in hospice until the last visitor came to see him. He didn't want anyone to witness his last breath. People came to see him in the hospital for 2 weeks. When the last visitor said goodbye, he passed an hour later when no one was in his room.
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Post by wmfan/waltonsportwriter on Apr 30, 2014 8:32:07 GMT -5
Daniela - I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's illness. It's frightening watching someone suffer, especially when most of us don't come with the skills necessary to alleviate their pain and suffering - and it does sound like she is suffering. She is terrified and trying to hold on to someone, hoping to stop the inevitable. If you haven't already, get someone from palliative care or pastoral care to visit with her and you. They can help. Also, don't be too worried about the infection - it is probably an MRSA - I was told it lies dormant in many people anyway. The smell is probably the coagulated blood from her wound - it has a terrible smell when it builds up which it does because the practice is to leave wounds to heal and that means leaving the dressings longer than they used to. You can ask to speak to the wound specialist about the odor and ask if they are changing the dressing often enough. I'm so sorry you're going through this but hang in as long as you can - many people drop away in these situations. You sound like you are in for the long haul. Good luck. Thank you bucky! I spoke with my friend today, and she is getting moved to a hospice. She told me that news, and then told me that she needs to ask me something. She asked if I would be a pall bearer for her. I told her of course I would, but all night at work, that's all I could think about. I will be going to visit her on Friday. She's near the end. She did tell me today that she think the doctors are wrong, because she feels great. I really believe that she just can't believe it. I think that's why she doesn't sleep, and refuses to take sleeping meds. I think she's scared that if she falls asleep, she won't wake up. She sleeps for no longer than ten minutes at a time. She will be talking to you, and then fall asleep. I don't know...it's sad, and I feel for her family, especially her three children. I will continue to be there for her as much as I can. Daniela you are a great friend for your friend Daniela. God bless you both in these final days and take care.
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Post by JeannePhx on Apr 30, 2014 18:43:14 GMT -5
So sorry for you Daniela and your dear friend. May she pass in peace when it's her time. You will be thankful later on that you did all you could for her even though it was very difficult. In the end all we have to left to give is the gift of ourselves.
hugs to you.........
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Post by Kathy Lee on Apr 30, 2014 18:50:22 GMT -5
I was there when my parents passed. Hardest thing I ever had to do watching them breath their last. You feel like you are being torn apart with grief. But, I wanted to be with them in their last moments.
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