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Post by daniela on Apr 24, 2014 23:30:32 GMT -5
My friend is dying right now. Her name is Daniela as well. I go up to the hospital to see her, and it is awful watching her suffer. She wants me with her a lot. I think she's really scared to die alone. It's part of the reason why I just don't have as much time, or as much to say on the forum lately. She doesn't believe that she is going to die. She will leave 3 kids behind, and one of them, her daughter, is autistic. She has a husband, who no one, including me, can stand. Her time is coming. I know I wouldn't miss her funeral for the world. I just want to show support to her family, as well as saying good bye to her. Some people hate funerals. I actually hate them too, but I will go for my friend. Everyone has their reasons for going, or not going to funerals I guess. Oh Daniela I am so sorry. Friday nite I got a call from the man that has been my best friend since I was a teenager. I would have married him if he had not chosen the path of the Hells Angels and all that, that path means. He said “ I have been diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer, I am not going to fight it, I cashed out my retirement, I am going to live like I am dying and I want to come see you in a week or two”. I am going to watch my best friend die. After this going to a funeral would be a cake walk. I agree that funerals are for the living and there might not be a need since we all get the time and chance to say goodbye. Wow Scarlett, I'm sorry to hear that too. I admire your friend for taking in as much of life as he can. I think it's a great idea. I can't imagine how he must be feeling though. We all know we are going to die, but to know..I think would be extremely hard. Has he accepted it? It sounds like he just wants to enjoy life while he can, and good for him for doing that. It will be a hard time for you, but you have a great sense of humor, and I hope you use it a lot.. I believe you will, which is great for both of you. Sometimes, I think how great it was to be a kid, and having no real worries at all. I hope your friend gets every bit out of life as he can, and what a great gift for both of you, that he will spend most of it with his best friend  |
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Post by daniela on Apr 24, 2014 23:50:53 GMT -5
So Sorry to hear that, Daniela. You are being a great friend and great comfort to her in her last days/weeks....I'm certain she appreciates it so much that you are "being there" for her. Thanks Frank. She has rectal cancer. She has a big hole in her bum, where they removed the tumor, in October. She cannot sit, stand, lay on her back, or her stomach. She can lay on one side, but it's very painful for her. Her one leg is a black/blue color. She is in a rehabilitation hospital, but Sunday when I was there, she was bleeding, and she got sent to the hospital where she got 4 units of blood. I feel so bad, because they told her that her cancer is back, and there is nothing that they can do. She refuses to believe it. She asked that when they remove this new tumor in Toronto, could I please go spend the night with her. I told her, of course I would, although, that surgery is not happening. She called me Sunday night at 10:15 pm, and told me she was scared, and she needed me, and could I please go up and see her. I stayed til 1 in the morning, and she begged me, saying, "please stay! I need you here! Don't leave me alone!" The nurse put her foot down and told her that I did not need to see what they were doing to her, and I had to work the next day. I left in tears. I felt so bad. She texted me this morning, saying, "please call me ASAP!! I need your help!" I tried to call, but there was no answer. I will go see her tomorrow, although, I'm scared of what I'll see. She's very, very desperate, and always begs me for everything. My mom and I talked about it, and my mom said, "she is probably so lonely and scared". I feel bad, but I will do everything I can for her. She is living a horrible life right now...it's not a nice thing to see. Sorry...I started venting! Thank you to everyone for your support! |
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Post by sdw on Apr 25, 2014 13:18:31 GMT -5
It was good to hear from Eric yesterday.He needs to post more often.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2014 13:43:26 GMT -5
I feel so bad, because they told her that her cancer is back, and there is nothing that they can do. Sorry...I started venting! Thank you to everyone for your support! This is why my guy is not going to fight it. We have watched five people in his family die of cancer. Most fought it and it came back. The doctors offered him morphine to go, but he refused it saying "I have done drugs all of my life I am not doing anymore". He has his DNR and a Glock. Right now I think that I could load the Glock if needed, but I am not sure that I could when the time comes. He would do his own shooting. I have been listening to the sounds of classic rock made up of Montrose, Alice Cooper, and Black Sabbath, floating back in time to when we were so young. Being like his little sister was like being in the movie Mask but without Rocky. I was Cher but without the responsibilities. The guys had their motorcycles and his real sister and I had our horses. These were the best times of my life. Slinging the dope was not cool and I ended up walking a different road, but one phone call and I am back to a small country home with a 20 acre pasture, 5 horses, a mule (that brayed every time Kristi got off of the school bus), a loving mom dying of breast cancer, and a grandfather that really was better than the Waltons grandfather. Sorry...I started venting! Thank you to everyone for your support! |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2014 15:04:06 GMT -5
Oh Daniela I am so sorry. Friday nite I got a call from the man that has been my best friend since I was a teenager. I would have married him if he had not chosen the path of the Hells Angels and all that, that path means. He said “ I have been diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer, I am not going to fight it, I cashed out my retirement, I am going to live like I am dying and I want to come see you in a week or two”. I am going to watch my best friend die. After this going to a funeral would be a cake walk. I agree that funerals are for the living and there might not be a need since we all get the time and chance to say goodbye. Wow Scarlett, I'm sorry to hear that too. I admire your friend for taking in as much of life as he can. I think it's a great idea. I can't imagine how he must be feeling though. We all know we are going to die, but to know..I think would be extremely hard. Has he accepted it? It sounds like he just wants to enjoy life while he can, and good for him for doing that. It will be a hard time for you, but you have a great sense of humor, and I hope you use it a lot.. I believe you will, which is great for both of you. Sometimes, I think how great it was to be a kid, and having no real worries at all. I hope your friend gets every bit out of life as he can, and what a great gift for both of you, that he will spend most of it with his best friend What Daniela said. So sort to hear that. (insert curse word) Cancer!!!! |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2014 15:06:27 GMT -5
It was good to hear from Eric yesterday.He needs to post more often. Not sure he needs to post more often, but I'm sure all of us wishes he'd post more often. No pressure Eric...just because a hundred members want you to post more often..no pressure.  "MUST....POST....MORE....OFTEN....." No pressure  |
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Post by patriciaanne on Apr 26, 2014 14:04:56 GMT -5
My friend is dying right now. Her name is Daniela as well. I go up to the hospital to see her, and it is awful watching her suffer. She wants me with her a lot. I think she's really scared to die alone. It's part of the reason why I just don't have as much time, or as much to say on the forum lately. She doesn't believe that she is going to die. She will leave 3 kids behind, and one of them, her daughter, is autistic. She has a husband, who no one, including me, can stand. Her time is coming. I know I wouldn't miss her funeral for the world. I just want to show support to her family, as well as saying good bye to her. Some people hate funerals. I actually hate them too, but I will go for my friend. Everyone has their reasons for going, or not going to funerals I guess. Oh Daniela I am so sorry. Friday nite I got a call from the man that has been my best friend since I was a teenager. I would have married him if he had not chosen the path of the Hells Angels and all that, that path means. He said “ I have been diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer, I am not going to fight it, I cashed out my retirement, I am going to live like I am dying and I want to come see you in a week or two”. I am going to watch my best friend die. After this going to a funeral would be a cake walk. I agree that funerals are for the living and there might not be a need since we all get the time and chance to say goodbye. |
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Post by patriciaanne on Apr 26, 2014 14:12:25 GMT -5
So Sorry to hear that, Daniela. You are being a great friend and great comfort to her in her last days/weeks....I'm certain she appreciates it so much that you are "being there" for her. Thanks Frank. She has rectal cancer. She has a big hole in her bum, where they removed the tumor, in October. She cannot sit, stand, lay on her back, or her stomach. She can lay on one side, but it's very painful for her. Her one leg is a black/blue color. She is in a rehabilitation hospital, but Sunday when I was there, she was bleeding, and she got sent to the hospital where she got 4 units of blood. I feel so bad, because they told her that her cancer is back, and there is nothing that they can do. She refuses to believe it. She asked that when they remove this new tumor in Toronto, could I please go spend the night with her. I told her, of course I would, although, that surgery is not happening. She called me Sunday night at 10:15 pm, and told me she was scared, and she needed me, and could I please go up and see her. I stayed til 1 in the morning, and she begged me, saying, "please stay! I need you here! Don't leave me alone!" The nurse put her foot down and told her that I did not need to see what they were doing to her, and I had to work the next day. I left in tears. I felt so bad. She texted me this morning, saying, "please call me ASAP!! I need your help!" I tried to call, but there was no answer. I will go see her tomorrow, although, I'm scared of what I'll see. She's very, very desperate, and always begs me for everything. My mom and I talked about it, and my mom said, "she is probably so lonely and scared". I feel bad, but I will do everything I can for her. She is living a horrible life right now...it's not a nice thing to see. Sorry...I started venting! Thank you to everyone for your support! |
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Post by daniela on Apr 26, 2014 15:37:47 GMT -5
Thanks patricianne!
My friend, whose name is Daniela too, has a good family. Her husband is good for nothing, but her mom, sister, and brother are really great. She does have friends that go a lot. Last night I went to the hospital to see her. I left very angry though. Every time I see her, she constantly asks me to move her leg. Her leg is swollen, and dark. She is convinced that she just needs to walk soon, and things will be great. Unfortunately though, I found out yesterday that the cancer has spread to her organs. I went to see her, and she asked me to move her leg. I did it twice, and I was sitting there with her, and a nurse came in. She said, " you are not supposed to be in this room without gloves and a gown" . I said, " what? What do you mean?" Daniela looked at me, and she rolled her eyes, and said sarcastically, " oh yea, I forgot to tell you" The nurse made me go in the hallway, where I had to disinfect my hands and put gloves and a gown on. I asked the nurse what this was for, and she explained to me, that Daniela's wound has a bacteria that can be passed to healthy people quite easily. Her wound smells foul. It's not her fault, but it really does smell horrible. I have to hold my breath when I move her leg for her. She said this bacteria is like E. coli. If you touch her, you can get this bacteria. I was not impressed. I'm still not. Someone, like a nurse, or even Daniela should have told me. I'm kind of worried about that now. I hope I don't get this stupid bacteria.
Daniela has an aunt who comes to say the rosary with her all the time. A priest also goes to see her to pray and talk with her. A volunteer from a Hospice, has agreed to keep her company during the night. I think even with all the support she has, she still feels alone.
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Post by patriciaanne on Apr 26, 2014 18:49:11 GMT -5
Thanks patricianne! My friend, whose name is Daniela too, has a good family. Her husband is good for nothing, but her mom, sister, and brother are really great. She does have friends that go a lot. Last night I went to the hospital to see her. I left very angry though. Every time I see her, she constantly asks me to move her leg. Her leg is swollen, and dark. She is convinced that she just needs to walk soon, and things will be great. Unfortunately though, I found out yesterday that the cancer has spread to her organs. I went to see her, and she asked me to move her leg. I did it twice, and I was sitting there with her, and a nurse came in. She said, " you are not supposed to be in this room without gloves and a gown" . I said, " what? What do you mean?" Daniela looked at me, and she rolled her eyes, and said sarcastically, " oh yea, I forgot to tell you" The nurse made me go in the hallway, where I had to disinfect my hands and put gloves and a gown on. I asked the nurse what this was for, and she explained to me, that Daniela's wound has a bacteria that can be passed to healthy people quite easily. Her wound smells foul. It's not her fault, but it really does smell horrible. I have to hold my breath when I move her leg for her. She said this bacteria is like E. coli. If you touch her, you can get this bacteria. I was not impressed. I'm still not. Someone, like a nurse, or even Daniela should have told me. I'm kind of worried about that now. I hope I don't get this stupid bacteria. Daniela has an aunt who comes to say the rosary with her all the time. A priest also goes to see her to pray and talk with her. A volunteer from a Hospice, has agreed to keep her company during the night. I think even with all the support she has, she still feels alone. |
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Post by cinlou on Apr 26, 2014 20:05:37 GMT -5
There should have been a sign outside the room before you went in to see your friend. She could have an infection called MRSA. You need to be careful when you visit her.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2014 20:14:06 GMT -5
There should have been a sign outside the room before you went in to see your friend. She could have an infection called MRSA. You need to be careful when you visit her. Is this lawsuit worthy? I mean really Daniela I would be p if this happened to me. |
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Post by ForeverWaltons on Apr 26, 2014 23:45:25 GMT -5
There should have been a sign outside the room before you went in to see your friend. She could have an infection called MRSA. You need to be careful when you visit her.
This is what I was going to say but cinlou beat me to it. As my maternal grandmother laid dying, she had an infection like this in her throat. The nurses told us all that we could catch it and we had to disinfect ourselves upon entering and leaving the room. The hospital had signs posted on her hospital door and on every wall in her hospital room.
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Post by daniela on Apr 27, 2014 1:16:26 GMT -5
When I got to the hospital, I went to the front desk, told them who I was coming to see. I asked if it was ok to go in. I knew they had just put her in a new room. I wasn't sure if maybe they were doing something with her that I didn't want or need to see, like changing her dressing or something. I never even thought of a bacteria thing. They told me where her room was and to go on in. I never saw a sign or anything. I'm not good with hospitals and germs, so you could just imagine my anger. I said to my mom, " I could just imagine what my face looked liked when the nurse told me". I was so mad. I still am. I am going to speak with someone at the hospital about why I wasn't made aware of the bacteria, and the proper protection. She is in the one hospital in our city. The other hospital she was in is sort of a rehilbitation centre, and people who need long term, 24 hour care. I moved Daniela's leg countless times there, and even helped move her in the bed. I was hating every second of it, because of the smell, and seeing blood grosses me out, but I breathed out of my mouth. She must have had the bacteria in there as well. I am not happy about this at all.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2014 8:08:10 GMT -5
When I got to the hospital, I went to the front desk, told them who I was coming to see. I asked if it was ok to go in. I knew they had just put her in a new room. I wasn't sure if maybe they were doing something with her that I didn't want or need to see, like changing her dressing or something. I never even thought of a bacteria thing. They told me where her room was and to go on in. I never saw a sign or anything. I'm not good with hospitals and germs, so you could just imagine my anger. I said to my mom, " I could just imagine what my face looked liked when the nurse told me". I was so mad. I still am. I am going to speak with someone at the hospital about why I wasn't made aware of the bacteria, and the proper protection. She is in the one hospital in our city. The other hospital she was in is sort of a rehilbitation centre, and people who need long term, 24 hour care. I moved Daniela's leg countless times there, and even helped move her in the bed. I was hating every second of it, because of the smell, and seeing blood grosses me out, but I breathed out of my mouth. She must have had the bacteria in there as well. I am not happy about this at all. Next time you visit her, pull one of the nurses (or a doctor if you are lucky) aside. Tell them what you have done (touching and in contact with the leg...and on how many different days...explain to them you never used the sanitiser until yesterday...coz you were never informed of anything)) , ask them in you were in any danger to contact any of the bacteria...I'm sure they will provide an honest answer. |
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