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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2014 14:56:22 GMT -5
I have always been a fan of Richard Thomas (and will always be) but I'm upset at the fact that he did not attend Ralph Waite's memorial service in February. The decision not to attend was due to rehearsals for a play he's doing in New York. While I'm certain that he loved Ralph and that he felt bad about not being there... I can't help but think he should've done what he had to do to be there.
Wasn't he as close to Ralph as the rest of the cast? Didn't they all rearrange their schedules to be there? I'm not faulting him from distancing himself from the show. To be able to move on and have an audience accept you as someone other than (in his case) John Boy Walton, you have to draw the line somewhere. As much as the Walton fans out there want him to show up at the reunions in Virginia, it's no surprise that he doesn't attend. It just seems that Ralph's memorial should have been the exception.
Is there a different way to view this? I'd really like to hear another way to look at it. I don't like feeling disappointed about this. I've never been in a play, nor do I know how easy or difficult it is to get personal time off.
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Post by clyde on Apr 23, 2014 16:36:34 GMT -5
Do we know for sure that Richard Thomas and Ralph Waite were close personally? It could be that they had a professional relationship- respectful of one another's abilities but not really bosom buddies. Although it is nice to think of all the actors being as close as the family we see each day on TV, they may have drifted far apart during the many years since last they worked together. Richard Thomas must have felt that his condolences from afar were the appropriate response given their present relationship. I'm sure that we all have former colleagues whose funerals we would not attend even though we remember them fondly.
This is an alternative explanation - although you know of course that it is just speculation on my part.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2014 17:34:56 GMT -5
I was going to say something similar to what Clyde wrote, but she wrote it better than I could have.
Was he so focused on his current role that he didn't wanna be John-Boy for a day? Were Richard and Ralph not as close as we thought or hoped? Does Richard just dislike funerals? Was he concerned he might have been the center of attention (as John-Boy) at the service? Was he going to be fired/dismissed if he wasn't at rehearsal? Was there something else going on in his life right now that he couldn't go or couldn't handle it?
We can speculate all we want , but only Richard knows why he didn't go.
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Post by awesomemixtape10 on Apr 23, 2014 18:59:28 GMT -5
Maybe he didn't want to see a close friend in a box.
Being the lead in a play is a big responsibility. I think Ralph understood " The Show must go on". I know it was rehearsals , but if he misses some, it is possible the show isn't as good.
If the show isn't good , the play gets closed down. .That would cost the producers and other actors in the play money.
It is not just about him.
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Post by Sussie of Teckelhut Acres on Apr 23, 2014 22:30:26 GMT -5
It could be various reasons. Maybe he hates funerals. Maybe he did not want to say goodbye.
My husband never liked funerals either. So he rarely went to them. He said that funerals were for the living and not for the dead. That is also the reason he did not want a funeral.
I am the same way kinda. Just recently a friend of mine lay dying in the hospital. I went up to see her. My final words to her were "Wanda. I'm not good at saying goodbye. So I will just say See ya later" She understood completely. I also did not attend her funeral. And I know for a fact she would have understood that as well.
Some people handle deaths differently. So before we judge, perhaps we should just let it be. Until we all become mind readers, we will never really know what someone is really thinking. Reminds me of this video...
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Post by daniela on Apr 23, 2014 23:19:50 GMT -5
My friend is dying right now. Her name is Daniela as well. I go up to the hospital to see her, and it is awful watching her suffer. She wants me with her a lot. I think she's really scared to die alone. It's part of the reason why I just don't have as much time, or as much to say on the forum lately. She doesn't believe that she is going to die. She will leave 3 kids behind, and one of them, her daughter, is autistic. She has a husband, who no one, including me, can stand. Her time is coming. I know I wouldn't miss her funeral for the world. I just want to show support to her family, as well as saying good bye to her.
Some people hate funerals. I actually hate them too, but I will go for my friend. Everyone has their reasons for going, or not going to funerals I guess.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2014 23:56:51 GMT -5
Thanks, guys... all of your responses have eased my feelings about this. daniela, I'm so sorry about your friend. I'm glad you're able to spend some time with her. The video you posted, Sussie of Teckelhut Acres was a good one. We all need a pair of those glasses. Gosh, the world would be a better place if we did! Thanks @dowsee and awesomemixtape10. Many things to consider... the biggest one being one I can closely identify with. Getting together for the purpose of saying goodbye. It's so hard to do. I know the cast supported and understood Richard's decision to stay in New York. I think clyde had a good point about former colleagues and appropriate responses to present day relationships. Maybe it's just as simple as not putting yourself into that person's shoes. Just because I can't imagine not going to the memorial, doesn't mean that's the way it should be.
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Post by JeriJet on Apr 24, 2014 6:00:23 GMT -5
I was going to say something similar to what Clyde wrote, but she wrote it better than I could have. Was he so focused on his current role that he didn't wanna be John-Boy for a day? Were Richard and Ralph not as close as we thought or hoped? Does Richard just dislike funerals? Was he concerned he might have been the center of attention (as John-Boy) at the service?Was he going to be fired/dismissed if he wasn't at rehearsal? Was there something else going on in his life right now that he couldn't go or couldn't handle it? We can speculate all we want , but only Richard knows why he didn't go.
From what I've noticed about Richard over the years, especially his avoiding the limelight and not all that into contrived publicity, I suspect he may well have felt that to attend the memorial service would appear self-serving.... along with a possible lack of a really close relationship with Ralph, Richard wouldn't have wanted to be intrusive.... we know he sent personal messages to some of the cast and to Ralph's family, but I think he certainly would want to avoid being the "center of attention" -- he would have wanted it to be all about Ralph, and only Ralph. I respect and like that side of Richard's personality.
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Post by ericscott on Apr 24, 2014 10:27:17 GMT -5
Nicolle and everyone else-
A lot of speculation is being discussed and I feel that all of you need to know that what I wrote on my facebook page is the most concise description. Richard was and is committed to a job in Washington DC. It was not like he could just "hop over" to where the memorial was going to be, it would have been a true nightmare logistically to try to accomplish. When we are asked to do "something" across the country, although it might be a one day event, it can take three to four days and a lot of effort to do. I am exhausted after all of that travel!!!! If Richard was not working, I have no doubt that he would have been honored to just be there with us to remember the wonderful actor and friend that was Ralph. So please try not to read "anymore" into it. We will get together in the future and have our own time to talk fondly about our cast mate.
And Daniela- You're a good friend and hang in there!
With Fondness,
Eric
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 11:55:43 GMT -5
Thank you for shedding some light, Eric.
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Stan
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Post by Stan on Apr 24, 2014 12:16:13 GMT -5
Nicolle and everyone else- A lot of speculation is being discussed and I feel that all of you need to know that what I wrote on my facebook page is the most concise description. Richard was and is committed to a job in Washington DC. It was not like he could just "hop over" to where the memorial was going to be, it would have been a true nightmare logistically to try to accomplish. When we are asked to do "something" across the country, although it might be a one day event, it can take three to four days and a lot of effort to do. I am exhausted after all of that travel!!!! If Richard was not working, I have no doubt that he would have been honored to just be there with us to remember the wonderful actor and friend that was Ralph. So please try not to read "anymore" into it. We will get together in the future and have our own time to talk fondly about our cast mate. And Daniela- You're a good friend and hang in there! With Fondness, Eric Thanks Eric. I'm new to this forum, and am on your Facebook page. I appreciate that you take the time to give us (the fans) as much insight into what you're doing and your perspective. Thanks again for the remembrances of Ben, and even more thanks for giving us insight into Eric Scott.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 12:24:08 GMT -5
Thank you for shedding some light, Eric. Yes, thank you Eric for shedding some light and that valuable input. All of us here appreciate it so much. Thanks for taking the time to post what you did. Frank
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 12:28:01 GMT -5
So Sorry to hear that, Daniela. You are being a great friend and great comfort to her in her last days/weeks....I'm certain she appreciates it so much that you are "being there" for her.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 14:42:17 GMT -5
My friend is dying right now. Her name is Daniela as well. I go up to the hospital to see her, and it is awful watching her suffer. She wants me with her a lot. I think she's really scared to die alone. It's part of the reason why I just don't have as much time, or as much to say on the forum lately. She doesn't believe that she is going to die. She will leave 3 kids behind, and one of them, her daughter, is autistic. She has a husband, who no one, including me, can stand. Her time is coming. I know I wouldn't miss her funeral for the world. I just want to show support to her family, as well as saying good bye to her. Some people hate funerals. I actually hate them too, but I will go for my friend. Everyone has their reasons for going, or not going to funerals I guess. Oh Daniela I am so sorry. Friday nite I got a call from the man that has been my best friend since I was a teenager. I would have married him if he had not chosen the path of the Hells Angels and all that, that path means. He said “ I have been diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer, I am not going to fight it, I cashed out my retirement, I am going to live like I am dying and I want to come see you in a week or two”. I am going to watch my best friend die. After this going to a funeral would be a cake walk. I agree that funerals are for the living and there might not be a need since we all get the time and chance to say goodbye.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 15:02:31 GMT -5
Wow, Scarlett... I'm so sorry.
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