Did Grandma enjoy life?

[clyde]

I loved the character of Grandma, but I could not think of an episode where she actually enjoyed anything, joked, approved of the kids' behavior or had fun. Seems as though she was always scowling. Wasn't her character just a little too "crusty"?

[Brenda]

I know what you mean, but I do think she enjoyed life in her own way. I think maybe she had some deep feelings inside that she didn't want to come out, for whatever reason, so she covered it with her scowling and crustiness. I can think of several occasions where she was grouchy throughout the episode, but in the end, she relented and showed her gentle side. Remember the episode about her birthday when she was losing her hearing? She snapped at everyone in the family and even the President on the radio until the very end, after she went to the doctor. When she returned home after learning that her hearing problem was not permanent, she had a good time celebrating her birthday, opening gifts, and thanking everyone for giving her such a special day. One of the funniest scenes in the entire series was when she opened Erin's gift and thanked her for this "wonderful thing" and saying, "I know what it is, but I'm not going to tell." There were other times when she showed a gentle side too. I'm thinking of the time when she told John Boy that her family had been storytellers, and she had kept those stories in her mind, and now she was going to tell them to him, and that would be her inheritance to him. Maybe other forum members can give some other examples.

[tonyas]

Unfortunately, I think it's often a part of aging.  Moody, lack of patience, constantly negative, self absorbed, that sort of thing.  I just don't want to be like that when I get in my 70's, 80's.  I don't want to be the person no one wants to be around.

I think Grandma had her moments though.  While she was moody and negative, she did care about others, but she liked to play the martyr too.  She was very sweet to Maude when she found out that she was going to be alone at Christmas.  She and Grandpa went to visit her.

[daniela]

I think anyone who grew up in the time frame that grandma would have, didn't really enjoy life. I guess they found happiness in some things, but most people grew up in a poor home and had to work hard at very young ages.  I think grandma would have looked at her grandchildren like they were spoiled.  I think showing affection was hard for people growing up in those times, because they never got much themselves.

I could just imagine what she would think of kids today

[ForeverWaltons]

The episode that immediately popped into my mind was, "The Bequest," Season 2 Ep. 12. Grandma is to inherit $250.00 from a childhood friend. After ordering a new water heater for the house, pledging the money to have the church's roof fixed, giving her youngest six grandchildren some money (if I remember correctly it was $3.00 a piece), she told John Boy he would get the rest for his college education. She had the biggest smile while telling him that.

Later on in the episode John Boy takes Grandma to Boatwright University to show her around the campus and makes a day of it. There is one class on the bible and she tells John Boy that he definitely needs to take that class. She was very "happy" in this episode until she returned home and found a letter from the lawyer letting her know that after trying to settle all of her deceased friend's bills, there was no money left for her to inherit.  But she wasn't grouchy...she was truly sad.

[goodnight]

I know she disapproved of that boy Lyle that JohnBoy brought home with him. Because Lyle had said he didn't believe in God. But she laughed along with the others when Lyle dumped his glass of water on Mary Ellen. And she laughed when Grandpa was tickling her (I can't recall that episode), although she was trying not to.

Maybe a good explanation would be this. Having to live in the same house with your only surviving child and his wife and children (11 people) could be taxing.

She was deeply religious, maybe that's an explanation. I've noticed in some things that I have read about times in the past (even earlier than the 1930's). It was thought that well bred young ladies were supposed to be serious and no nonsense. Esther grew up in the Victorian era. It makes me think about the Little House books (not the TV series). The character of Ma (Caroline) was such a goody two shoes. She told her girls that a grown up person should never let their feelings show in anything they say or do. Laura had a rebellious streak, she was more like her Pa.

[Deleted]

Apr 5, 2014 10:31:41 GMT -5 tonyas said:

Unfortunately, I think it's often a part of aging.  Moody, lack of patience, constantly negative, self absorbed, that sort of thing. 

I say bull on this. There isn't one person in my family, of that age group, that acts like what you describe. Not one.

[Deleted]

Apr 5, 2014 9:54:42 GMT -5 Brenda said:

 I can think of several occasions where she was grouchy throughout the episode, but in the end, she relented and showed her gentle side.

The Wing Walker when she made a big deal about Myrtle being a spoiled goat. Yet when Myrtle runs away grandma is the one that gives up her day and finds Myrtle and then states that Myrtle is sensitive and that they need to take better care of her or something similar.

[Deleted]

Apr 5, 2014 10:50:57 GMT -5 daniela said:

I think anyone who grew up in the time frame that grandma would have, didn't really enjoy life. I guess they found happiness in some things, but most people grew up in a poor home and had to work hard at very young ages.  I think grandma would have looked at her grandchildren like they were spoiled.  I think showing affection was hard for people growing up in those times, because they never got much themselves.

I could just imagine what she would think of kids today

I think daniela is the closet to the truth, but not because of a time period (but grandma does come from a hard time period), or grandma's age, but simply because life did not turn out the way you had hoped/dreamed it would.

[eclectic]

Grandma was always the one who got on to Mary Ellen for having non-traditional aspirations for her life and for being a tomboy.   I always got the impression that Grandma was probably very much like Mary Ellen as a girl, but such aspirations had not been possible in the 1880s for her as they would be for Mary Ellen in a changing world.  I have the sneaking suspicion that a bit of envy was at the root of her sour grapes attitude toward Mary Ellen or perhaps she wanted to save Mary Ellen the heartache she experienced with her own unfulfilled dreams.

I also remember that episode where John Boy got on to her for complaining all the time, which made me think of other times when she'd complained.  I have to think that giving up her position as the female head of the house to Olivia had to have taken some getting used to and was probably a blow to her pride, too.  Both her and Grandpa had to deal with that.

[Brenda]

Apr 5, 2014 11:39:12 GMT -5 @tankeryanker said:

Apr 5, 2014 10:31:41 GMT -5 tonyas said:

Unfortunately, I think it's often a part of aging.  Moody, lack of patience, constantly negative, self absorbed, that sort of thing. 

I say bull on this. There isn't one person in my family, of that age group, that acts like what you describe. Not one.

I think tonyas might be partly right, but I think Grandma Walton was still too young for that to be a reason for her grouchy disposition. I'm thinking of my own grandmother, who lived to be 94. She was the sweetest, kindest old lady in the world until she turned about 90, then she became a grouchy old woman. That was about the time she had to give up living alone and went to live with my aunt, so that was probably a big part of it. My own mother has always been a sweet, soft-spoken woman as well, but she turned 90 last summer, and she seems to have had a bit of a personality change. She's not grouchy like Grandma Walton, but she does seem to complain a lot these days, and she never used to do that. But like I said, Grandma Walton wasn't nearly that old, and I think she had been that way for years, not just when she got old.

[Deleted]

Apr 5, 2014 12:27:03 GMT -5 eclectic said:

Grandma was always the one who got on to Mary Ellen for having non-traditional aspirations for her life and for being a tomboy.   I always got the impression that Grandma was probably very much like Mary Ellen as a girl, but such aspirations had not been possible in the 1880s for her as they would be for Mary Ellen in a changing world.  I have the sneaking suspicion that a bit of envy was at the root of her sour grapes attitude toward Mary Ellen or perhaps she wanted to save Mary Ellen the heartache she experienced with her own unfulfilled dreams.

THIS!!!

When we follow social norms and not our own path it creates conflict in ourselves. I can only imagine what it is like to follow the rules and then have the rules change.

[clyde]

Apr 5, 2014 12:31:00 GMT -5 Brenda said:

Apr 5, 2014 11:39:12 GMT -5 @tankeryanker said:

I say bull on this. There isn't one person in my family, of that age group, that acts like what you describe. Not one.

I think tonyas might be partly right, but I think Grandma Walton was still too young for that to be a reason for her grouchy disposition. I'm thinking of my own grandmother, who lived to be 94. She was the sweetest, kindest old lady in the world until she turned about 90, then she became a grouchy old woman. That was about the time she had to give up living alone and went to live with my aunt, so that was probably a big part of it. My own mother has always been a sweet, soft-spoken woman as well, but she turned 90 last summer, and she seems to have had a bit of a personality change. She's not grouchy like Grandma Walton, but she does seem to complain a lot these days, and she never used to do that. But like I said, Grandma Walton wasn't nearly that old, and I think she had been that way for years, not just when she got old.

Maybe being grouchy, or for a nicer word crochety (the mood, not the yarn) is what keeps these old folks going! Even women didn't live as long in the 1930's, so maybe Grandma's late 60's were the equivalent of 90's given today's longer life span.

Thanks to Scarlett (see her post below) for helping me learn to spell croTchety correctly see her post below-- I knew that wasn't quite right- where the heck is spell check when you need it?

[Deleted]

I have mentioned this before, but my mom's best friend for 50 years (my god-mother) was just like grandma, except she was meaner than grandma. She always complained and grumbled about everything. I was the dart board and she was the darts.

My dad was just like grandma , except a drunk abusive version of grandma. Other people who were my parents friends were like grandma...complaining, negative, self absorbed. I knew lots of people like grandma. Maybe some of you here never met anyone like grandma in real life. But they existed.

[Deleted]

^^^^^
I am not saying that there are not people who are crotchety, but rather that at a certain age, people magically turn into a crotchety person.