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Post by clyde on Sept 24, 2014 19:25:24 GMT -5
It seems as though the Waltons are always kissing and hugging. The kids kiss John , Olivia, Grandma and Grandpa goodnight, goodbye when they leave for school, hello when they return from school -whenever. Just wondering if anyone here has kids that actually do that? I know Southerners love to hug and kiss - even if they've just seen a person earlier in the day. This sometimes makes me uncomfortable. Too much (although I'd be glad to plant a few on John . . .)!
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Post by JeriJet on Sept 24, 2014 19:35:21 GMT -5
It seems as though the Waltons are always kissing and hugging. The kids kiss John , Olivia, Grandma and Grandpa goodnight, goodbye when they leave for school, hello when they return from school -whenever. Just wondering if anyone here has kids that actually do that? I know Southerners love to hug and kiss - even if they've just seen a person earlier in the day. This sometimes makes me uncomfortable. Too much (although I'd be glad to plant a few on John . . .)! Are you forgetting I have dibs on John ?  The amount of kissing and hugging that goes on in the Walton family doesn't bother me -- my family was much the same way for many years, 'tho it did dwindle a bit eventually... (times have changed?)... BUT, too much gooey stuff really got to me when I was working with actors and that whole "community" -- probably the main reason I finally ran away from it !! ... unlike with families, it just seemed too phoney.
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Post by nedandres on Sept 24, 2014 19:51:52 GMT -5
Well, I think if it is not sincere or not perceived as sincere, it can wear pretty thin quickly. We were not too huggy or kissy with my family growing up, I think more so now when I can get to the USA to see my parents. They are 82 and 85 now. Here in Ecuador, you greet women with a kiss on the cheek, actually it is a pseudo kiss, rather like a puff of air, but I think it is kind of nice. It shows genuine affection and care and even respect. It is a Latin thing, I suppose.
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Post by patriciaanne on Sept 24, 2014 21:22:07 GMT -5
It seems as though the Waltons are always kissing and hugging. The kids kiss John , Olivia, Grandma and Grandpa goodnight, goodbye when they leave for school, hello when they return from school -whenever. Just wondering if anyone here has kids that actually do that? I know Southerners love to hug and kiss - even if they've just seen a person earlier in the day. This sometimes makes me uncomfortable. Too much (although I'd be glad to plant a few on John . . .)!  But we kissed my father every morning when he left for work and every evening he arrived home and then we kissed both of our parents at night before we went to bed. If my mother was awake when we left for school (which was rare when we were older), she got kissed too before we left. This continued the whole time I lived with them, even as I got older. Still kiss them hello and goodbye when I see them and if they're staying at my house, they get kissed goodnight too.  |
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Post by daniela on Sept 24, 2014 23:44:36 GMT -5
My family is not huggy and kissy at all. I wish we were more sometimes. I will kiss my mom and dad on both cheeks for a Birthday, Easter and Christmas, and it's soooo awkward with my dad. I would feel more comfortable hugging a stranger, than my own dad..weird, right? We never say " I love you"....never ever...although, whenever one of us leaves the house, we will say to each other, " drive carefully". I think that's our way of saying, " I love you". We never say it, but, my family is full of love. We yell, and fight with each other sometimes ( we are Italian after all ), but I know I can count on any member of my family, anytime, anywhere. I have never gone without something, and I have always felt loved, even without saying it, or hearing it. I'm 40 years old, and still live at home, and parents haven't kicked me out yet. They must like me a little.. |
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Post by kazk on Sept 25, 2014 2:13:49 GMT -5
I grew up in a very huggy, kissy family so I think the Walton family kissing is quite true to life. |
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Post by twinkle on Sept 25, 2014 5:40:26 GMT -5
I have five sons aged from 9 to 28 and I have always, from the day they were born, kissed them and cuddled them whenever I had the opportunity. When they were little I just could not help myself. My older two live abroad so I don't get my arms around them these days and I have my three youngest at home and they kiss me goodnight before bed and always give me a kiss before they go into school. Every night when we are in bed before sleep my 12 year old shouts out 'love you mum love you dad!' and we shout 'love you back!' - a little bit Walton-y I know but it's precious and something I will remember one day when he's grown up and away and I treasure that |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2014 5:59:14 GMT -5
The Waltons were the complete opposite of my family life. Never any "I love you's" or hugging or kissing before bed or before going to school or coming home. I think if any of my parents even did this once, everyone at home probably who think they should be locked up somewhere, lol.
The love, care and concern for family members is what attracted me to the Waltons.
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Post by JeriJet on Sept 25, 2014 6:55:41 GMT -5
My family is not huggy and kissy at all. I wish we were more sometimes. I will kiss my mom and dad on both cheeks for a Birthday, Easter and Christmas, and it's soooo awkward with my dad. I would feel more comfortable hugging a stranger, than my own dad..weird, right? We never say " I love you"....never ever...although, whenever one of us leaves the house, we will say to each other, " drive carefully". I think that's our way of saying, " I love you". We never say it, but, my family is full of love. We yell, and fight with each other sometimes ( we are Italian after all ), but I know I can count on any member of my family, anytime, anywhere. I have never gone without something, and I have always felt loved, even without saying it, or hearing it. I'm 40 years old, and still live at home, and parents haven't kicked me out yet. They must like me a little.. Daniela, I think your post describes how it is with many, many families.... and I love that you realize that a lot of demonstrative displays really do not indicate how much love exists among family members.... I have often wondered how families can be so different in so many ways....
Looking back on 70+ years of life now, it strikes me that I have "seen" my family in many different ways over the years.... my perceptions change.... some better, some worse, and then it all turns around again -- I don't have a real good "hold" on it yet ! ... Will I ever figure it out ?! ... Most times, I felt I had a great childhood.... and then in my fifties I decided ours was quite a dysfunctional family !! ... then reverted back again to my original estimations.... I can remember that in my thirties I pretty much stayed away for a short time, but really don't know why -- had no valid reason....
I'm not at all sure about the reasons behind the "makeup" of our family -- but somehow I know that the love was/is always there ... and, I know I'm not explaining this very well.... will probably have to come back and do some edits.... See what I mean ?! -- I still do not have a perfectly clear understanding.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2014 7:50:04 GMT -5
Maybe it boils down to a fear of intimacy. If you were guaranteed an "I love you" back... Would you have the courage to say it out loud? The last thing I would want is to say those words and have an awkward silence to follow.
My mother's family was conservative and never said it while growing up. Grandpa was a navy man and did a lot to show his love for his 4 daughters. But rarely said the words until later in life when one of them said it to him as she was getting ready to move away. It started the ball rolling when he said it back to her that day.
When my siblings and I all get together, we hug and kiss because it's rare that we're all in the same place.
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Post by Uncle Coaster on Sept 25, 2014 10:23:04 GMT -5
Very interesting thread, good to read about all sorts of experiences.
My family was and is very huggy. I live alone about 1 1/2 hours from the rest of my family. I spend most weekends at my parents' house, though. To this day, I still hug them when I arrive Friday night, before I go to bed each evening, when I wake up each morning and when I leave that Sunday afternoon. It is perhaps natural and instinctive, but also very much sincere. Same way with my brothers' family anytime I see them. Even when they attend church with us, there are hugs all around either when they arrive or immediately after service if there is no time beforehand. My nieces are very comfortable with it and I'm grateful for that. They are 16 and 15 and even when I see them at a school function in front of their friends they still have time for a hug with their Uncle Jeff.
Funny little side story. We have a cousin that we lost touch with for over 15 years. We reconnected and met him and his family at their house a few years back. Hugs all around. Later, his wife and one of his kids each told me that they were "warned" ahead of time that we would be hugging. They both said that it felt good.
Obviously, hugs don't always mean love and certainly hugs aren't necessary to show love, but to me it is a great sign of more than just a casual acquaintance. I'm actually happy to see that even the bro hug (or one arm hug or whatever you want to call it) has become a thing.
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Post by ForeverWaltons on Sept 25, 2014 11:19:19 GMT -5
Growing up I always hugged and kissed my grandparents when I first saw them and when it was time to say goodbye. If I spent the night I would also hug and kiss them goodnight. I did this until the day they died.
My parents & I always hugged and kissed each other hello, goodbye and goodnight. My mom would check in on both my brother and me during the night. So many times I faked that I was asleep. She would either hold her finger under my nose to make sure I was still breathing or she would lean way down to listen for my breathing. She would tuck my covers just so, then most of the time kiss me on the forehead. Momma did this until the day I moved out at 19. Always made me feel special and loved. 
Mr. Forever always kisses me four times for goodbye and eight times for goodnight. He always keeps count, if I short him a kiss, then we have to start all over. We have always hugged and kissed our children goodbye and goodnight. I check on them through the night just like my momma did me, and Mr. Forever checks on them on his way out to work each morning. It almost never fails that our middle son will wake up and he has to kiss and hug his daddy goodbye.
Our middle son is a sweetheart (he's 10 now). He has always kissed me on the cheek, I kiss him back on his cheek and then he covers his mouth with his hand and I kiss the back of his hand. Ever since he was somewhere between 2 and 3, when we approach a railroad crossing, he has to hold your hand. He's an eagle eye too, no railroad track gets past him. When he started doing this, he said we had to do it so we wouldn't get a bump in our ear. I have no idea where he got that from. 
The foreverettes greet their daddy on his arrival home from work (usually by going outside to greet him). On the rare occasion that I actually get to go somewhere by myself, they kiss and hug me goodbye also.
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Post by cinlou on Sept 25, 2014 11:19:21 GMT -5
My family wasn't very affectionate but I came out ok. I love to hug and kiss my grand babies. My kids and I hug but we don't kiss. This whole discussion reminds me of a Saturday Night Live skit about a family that was overly affectionate. They kissed hello and goodbye, etc. but on the lips! It was pretty funny. I think there was a Modern Family episode like this too! I watch entirely too much tv! LOL!
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Post by clyde on Sept 25, 2014 12:58:22 GMT -5
Wow - what an affectionate group! I actually had an Uncle who shook hands with me upon his arrival and departure - even when I was a small child. Guess that's where I developed my strong handshake! Of course in this day and age, we hear that kissing, and even shaking hands is kind of unsanitary. I guess we could wave goodnight to each other . . . .  |
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Post by JeriJet on Sept 25, 2014 14:25:06 GMT -5
I seem to remember a lot of "right on the lips" kissing when I was a kid.... and I notice that Esther/Ellen Corby mostly did that, too.... so, I suspect it wasn't unusual in earlier days....
Also, I don't like the recent "scare" about shaking hands, when all it takes is washing hands a lot.... that was a must for decades, so it's not like we never knew that... we just stopped paying attention for a while... I want it back !! -- fist bumps don't do it for me. 
I think hugs are of prime importance -- there is nothing better !! .... everybody needs them in order to be happy
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But we kissed my father every morning when he left for work and every evening he arrived home and then we kissed both of our parents at night before we went to bed. If my mother was awake when we left for school (which was rare when we were older), she got kissed too before we left. This continued the whole time I lived with them, even as I got older. Still kiss them hello and goodbye when I see them and if they're staying at my house, they get kissed goodnight too. 
